The Princess and the Pea

Camilla PB had a hysterectomy recently, at the exclusive King Edward VII (£500-a-night) Hospital. Apparently, when she turned up for her op she arrived accompanied by her personal mattress and bed linen. Furthermore, during her stay, she only ate food prepared by the Prince's staff at Clarence House and brought to the hospital for her.

Now, I'm wondering, how it would go down if I turned up at Neely Ward in the Ulster (NHS) Hospital in May dragging my mattress and bedlinen behind me.

Sure enough, I have very nice bedlinen, which I am quite attached to, however it is for a King size bed, and let's face it, chances of getting any bed, never mind a king sized one, in an NHS hospital ...

As for requesting meals from home - I imagine I would be gently reminded that there was a McDonalds right across from the hospital, if I felt like the walk!

Irony

There's no Irish dance class next week ...... because it's St Patricks Day!

Fields of Athenry

While we sang Athenry today, as Ireland picked up the Triple Crown, we were reminded that our kids had been singing that song, probably from before they knew the words to the Barney anthem.

Put it down to my dad's patience at playing and replaying the track for them on any journey they went on in his car, no matter how short or far, for the entire trip!

And so, practically from the moment she could speak at two years old, Dolly Molly was able to sing Athenry - chorus and all 3 verses - word perfect.

Her understanding left a little to be desired though, as we discovered when, everytime she got the the third line of verse two, she stopped, pronounced 'I'm going to be three at Christmas' and then continued on through the ballad!

By a lonely prison wall
I heard a young girl calling
Michael they are taking you away
For you stole Trevelyan's corn
So the young might see the morn
Now a prison ship lies waiting in the bay.

Chorus
Low lie the Fields of Athenry
Where once we watched the small free birds fly.
Our love was on the wing
we had dreams and songs to sing
It's so lonely 'round the Fields of Athenry.

By a lonely prison wall
I heard a young man calling
Nothing matters Mary when your free,
Against the Famine and the Crown
I rebelled they ran me down
Now you must raise our child with dignity.

Chorus

By a lonely harbour wall
She watched the last star falling
As that prison ship sailed out against the sky
Sure she'll wait and hope and pray
For her love in Botany Bay
It's so lonely 'round the Fields of Athenry.

Then there were the 'Four Proud Protestants of Ireland' ...

Come the day and come the hour
Come the power and the glory
We have come to answer our country's call
From the four proud provinces of Ireland

Ireland, Ireland,
Together standing tall .....

(actually, some who question Eddie O'Sullivans method of team selection would say she actually got it more right in many respects!)

Allez les bleu!

England employ new chariot driver

When did my 8 year old start using adult words??

Mini Me was fascinated by the news today that eating full cream icecream improved your chance of having a baby. So much so that when we had finished dinner he went and got a tub of Ben & Jerry's from the freezer, just for me.

Once I had had this act of selflessness explained to me, I gently tried to explain to him that icecream really wouldn't make a difference - I was too old to have any more babies.

"Mummy, there was a woman aged 67 who had a baby last year''

Ah yes, I remember having a similar conversation round about that time.

Nothing else for it but the truth then. So I told him that the bit of my tummy that babies came from didn't work any more and the doctor was going to take it away. At which he looked me in the eye, sighed a deep sigh and said

"You mean your womb mummy!"

Four Weddings and a ...

Now that she has us both married off and a while to wait for the grandchildren to get wed, mother has taken to attending every beach wedding she can whilst on holiday in Barbados. She's not been there a week and she's notched up 3 already!

The fourth was yesterday, and dad, who had travelled up the coast to find a pub showing the monumental Ireland V England Six Nations massacre, was well warned he had to be back at the beach for 4.30pm local time for 'the wedding'.

'Whose wedding?' we enquired when he called to share his joy of being an Irish tourist in a very full English sports bar at the end of the game, to which came the response 'I don't know, some couple your mother met on the beach this morning.'

I'm wondering does she sit on the beach waiting for them to happen, with a hat (or more likely a fascinator!) tucked under her sunbed 'just in case', and, at the first sign of a white dress or a bunch of flowers if she's off her sunbed, wrap on over her swimsuit and off down the beach to stand in witness.

It seems mother is to Caribbean weddings what we are to geocaches!

... Released Cat!

Emergency

Whilst my folks are on holiday in Barbados, we have been charged with looking after the cat.

It appears that, after we locked the cat into her house last night, we lost the key.

Used with Kind Permission

Ulster rugby fans battered and bruised by accusations

"New footage of the Kennedy assassination was broadcast on Monday night. The picture’s weren’t too clear, but it has been alleged that that a man in an Ulster rugby jersey was witnessed wielding a high-powered rifle. Twenty-four years ago, almost to the day, a suspect was seen riding Shergar around Ravenhill, the ‘jockey’ wearing what appeared to be white silks, although the actual material was probably cotton. The most recent sighting pinpointed a culprit driving a white Fiat Uno in Paris in the autumn of 1997, the car the same colour as his top – white.

Ridiculous? Far fetched? Certainly. But, after all, it’s open season on Ulster rugby supporters. Feel free to accuse them of anything. Don’t worry about actual evidence. Sure, there have already been accusations of sectarianism, and racism and, as everybody knows, there’s no smoke without fire. To that I say: “Oval-shaped balls!” The problem is that, to use a phrase more appropriate to rugby, mud sticks, especially if you sling enough of it.

Ravenhill is an intimidating venue for opposition teams, most of whom leave defeated. Now, some of them think they can achieve a ‘moral victory’ by claiming that Ulster supporters and/ or players indulged in unacceptable verbal abuse. Too often they make their unsubstantiated allegations in the media first.

Comment flows freely as a consequence, even though the vast majority of those pontificating on the subject didn’t actually attend the match (es) in question. Well, I happened to be at Ravenhill on Friday night, as a spectator, standing on the packed terrace opposite the main stand.

Time will tell if some idiot(s) did direct racial abuse at Dragons’ wing Aled Brew and replacement Colin Charvis last Friday night. I did not hear a single racist chant, although that’s not to say that some didn’t occur. However, it can be said confidently that no solid proof has yet been produced. What I did hear was several chants of ‘Dodgy, dodgy kicker’, the last word of which might have been misinterpreted as the ‘n’ word, that term of abuse against black people. Similarly it seems that Ulster forward Matt McCullough was accused of racial abuse during the HC campaign, what actually occurred was that he called London Irish’s Delon Armitage a ’spide’ – the Northern Irish equivalent of a ‘chav’, which was misheard as ‘spade’.

Amid all the wild speculation here are some facts:

1. Matt McCullough was cleared of the charge of racial abuse ·
2. Trevor Brennan himself stated that there was NO sectarian element to the abuse he received from some Ulster supporters in Toulouse
3. No racial abuse has yet been detected on the tapes of Friday night’s game.
   

One final thought: there may well be some bigots among the Ulster support, as they’re definitely not all angels; yet there’s clearly been more overt bigotry displayed by many who gleefully seize on any easy opportunity to demonise Ulster rugby supporters."

As written by Kenny Archer in The Irish News (my new local newspaper of choice) on Wednesday this week.

Well said that man.

Back to the Irish Dancing

I had a week off from Irish Dancing this week because I was doing an 'airport run' on Monday night. Also, I have also not had time (or perhaps inclination) to practice because of the Oscar event.

In preparation for my return to class next Monday I decided to go to the library and get a book on 'Step by Step Irish Dance for Dummies who Ruin Formation Dances'. They didn't have that exact title, so I settled for one entitled 'Jigs and Reels'.

Imagine how I felt when I got home to discover that it wasn't a picture book of where your feet should be and when, but a collection of short stories (most of which aren't even Irish for goodness sake) by Joanne Harris, author of 'Chocolat'.

Frankly, having read her book on Irish Dance, she should stick to making the confections!

Good Morning BlogFans

What a fantabulous day it is today!

Special welcome to all my new readers, especially those who can afford to spend £120 on a taxi fare!

Passed this little hamlet on the way to Dublin yesterday ...

I wonder if people who live here are called Termonfeckers?

Tonight, Single-handedly, I completely ruined a Formation Dance!

Personally, I think thats quite a major achievement for only my second night at class.

Geocaching

We are on a quest to find 100 geocaches in our first year as geocachers. We are currently at number 64. We have until 31st March. Time is running out!

Some places we've been and sights we've seen along the way to number 64:

Special School Animated Oscars

Once upon a time ...

It all started when I was subbing in the previous Special School and they had just completed a little animation project. I knew at that time that the Special School I was about to start working in were also making a little animated movie.

'Wouldn't it be good' I said 'if we could have a little Special School Oscar ceremony'

There were two things wrong with that sentence: first, that I said it out loud, and second, that Un-Named Ex-Colleague heard me.

And so, with two weeks to go until the event, I find myself trawling the internet for plastic champagne glasses, popcorn buckets and bow ties; negotiating the release of old movie posters from the local cinema to decorate the hall, and arranging to 'borrow' an American Limo for half an hour so the children can have their photograph taken in it when they arrive.

I really, really, need a red carpet for the children to walk down into the venue - if anyone has one I can borrow for an hour, or knows where I can get one (for nothing!) please, please let me know.

And now, I'm crawling back into the hole I should never have crawled out of ...

Well, I'm home ...

First night over and I can safely say the cast of Riverdance needn't be too concerned, just yet!

On the way over tonight I stopped off at the garage to get a bottle of water. I should have stopped off at the hospital for a bottle of oxygen.

I guess that's just all part of the learning on your first night, as is that minor (OK, major) surgery will be required before I attempt to lift my leg as high as is required.

First Night Nerves

Tonight is my first night at Irish Dancing (for Mummies). I am a little nervous and a lot concerned that I will not be able to perform on demand. In fact, I am a little nervous and a lot concerned that I will not be able to perform. Full Stop.

Mind you, it will make for good blog fodder. Watch this space ...

The Flower Fairy

... has been to my garden and filled all my pots!

She must have read my New Year blog.

Thank you Flower Fairy!!

This is the first anniversary of the day my brain scrambled ...