Friday, August 31, 2007

One for the optimists

Elverys Sports, an Irish sportswear retailer, in an effort to unload massive stocks of the sartorially-challenged Ireland jersey, are offering a special deal which they hope will entice punters to the tills. Buy an Ireland jersey in Elverys and you will get your money back in full if ... wait for it ... Ireland win the World Cup.

This can be viewed two ways -- a cynical attempt to exploit pre-tournament optimism, or a supreme act of faith in Drico and his boys. Either way, the jersey is still manky.

Only 7 days, 2 hours, 59 mins & 32 secs to go

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Jimeoin

This guy is just the funniest guy alive. Originally from Portstewart, Northern Ireland, now living in Australia, he comes back too infrequently to do his stand-up show in Belfast.

The last time I saw him perform he nearly caused the premature birth of my son.

The good news is, he's coming back in October. Happy Days!

I've just seen someone I know on TV

Marcus, the guy (yep) I have bought makeup from at the 'benefit' counter in Boots, Belfast city centre has just been voted off Kitchen Criminals tonight.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Yuck

I am currently on antibiotics of the dosage that you would give your pet elephant if it caught an infection.

It's obviously a very good anti-biotic as it seems to have killed all the biotics that make my brain work.

It has also done what many have tried to do, and failed. It has stopped me blogging.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Blogroll

Added a new blog to the 'worth a peek' list today. This guy drinks way too much coffee.

While you're here, if you have 30 seconds and even a glimmer of imagination you could maybe help out in a family crisis to name two pet goldfish-type swimmy creatures here. All donations gratefully received!

The boys are going to see Ireland V Italy at Ravenhill tonight. Fantastic to get an International rugby fixture up North, the first in 50 years. Shame it had to be this summer! Anyway, Stand Up for the Irishmen!

14 days, 6 hours, 54mins, 48 secs to go

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

We love our Anthems

Anthems and flags, two real bones of contention in this corner of the world.

Quick political lesson: Northern Ireland, as part of the UK, has 'God Save the Queen' as it's anthem. Most Loyalists love it, sing it with gusto and even add in 'No Surrender' in the ascending scale before 'Send her Victorious'. Most Nationalists, who have an affiliation to the Republic of Ireland, and therefore it's anthem 'Amhran na Bhfiann' or the 'Soldiers' Song', hate it, and refuse to sing. (To be fair, there's a lot of neutrals who don't give a toss or who, if they are drunk enough, will sing anything!)

It makes sporting occasions interesting. When Barry McGuigan won the Gold medal at the Olympics all those years ago, instead of causing offense to either community, both of which supported him wholeheartedly, he had his Da sing 'Danny Boy' when the anthem should have been played. I remember watching with great amusement when Eddie Irvine won Formula One races. After one race win they raised the Union Jack, and after the next win the Irish Tricolour. Eddie laughed it off, and said that he was going to have a special flag with just a shamrock on it made, just in case he won again. He didn't.

This is why the Irish rugby team have Ireland's Call. With the Ireland rugby team representing both the South and Northern Ireland, 'Ireland's Call' was scripted to help cross sectarian and national divides and was adopted as the rugby anthem in 1995. However, at home matches in Dublin the first verse of the Irish national anthem is also sung as the President of Ireland is present. (Mary McAleese - born and bred in Belfast - go figure)

Football is different. The football team is Northern Ireland. The Republic have their own, quite seperate, team. 'The Queen' is the anthem at Northern Ireland football matches because it is the anthem of the country represented, even though it would not be the preferred anthem of all the teams supporters. That's just the way it goes, like it or lump it.

So where is all this going? you ask. Well, the Northern Ireland football team have drawn Liechtenstein in their European Championship qualifying group. They are playing them tonight. Here in Belfast. It's live on TV. I don't subscribe to football, but I just happened to be wandering past the TV in the kitchen when they played the National Anthem for Liechtenstein. And I must admit, once I found out it wasn't a sick joke, I had to laugh. Because the tune to the National Anthem for Liechtenstein just happens to be the same tune as 'God Save the Queen'.

Don't believe me? Listen here. Only in Belfast.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Ashton to start Cup with big guns

This is the headline on the BBC Sport Rugby Union website.

Using tanks against the opposition is a good option for Ashton and will probably lead to greater success than fielding his team of Saga sponsored has-beens ever could ;-)

17 days, 10 hours, 35 minutes and 14 seconds to go

Monday, August 20, 2007

You are not going to believe this ..

.. but its absolutely true.

I was phoning around a few places today to set up some trips for the kids to do this week as they have nothing else planned. I called a local 'attraction' to arrange a tour of their facility. I really wanted Thursday because I thought it would give then something to do while I was back at the hospital.

Anyway, I'm chatting away to the person on the other end of the phone, asking about prices, availability etc and they tell me that unfortunately Thursday is all booked up. However, they might have a slot on Friday morning, if I didn't mind joining in with another group. I asked who the group was to be told it's a group from one of the local Alzheimer’s homes. My Gran had had Alzheimer's, so the prospect of doing the tour with that group didn't really worry me and I was giving it some serious thought when this is what was said next:

'They were supposed to come today, but they forgot.'

I had to apologise and hang up the phone. I was laughing so hard I literally nearly burst my flipping stitches - again!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Saturday, August 18, 2007

30 random questions

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My Dad jokes I’m named after one of the characters in Peyton Place, a soap opera type programme popular in the late 60’s. My Mum is adamant I’m not.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
When they told me I had to go back to theatre to have my stitches removed last month. But being a big brave girl, I waited until the Doctor and Nurse had left the room before I blubbered.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
I don't often see my handwriting these days. It's not great, but I’ve seen worse .

4. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back?

5. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS
No, I had my tonsils removed just before I got married. Bill Clinton was in town that day to switch on the Christmas lights. He didn’t come to visit.

6. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Never

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
If we're talking grain, I say rice. If we're talking Kelloggs type then I like crunchy nut cornflakes with extra nutty bits. But I don't eat cereal, I have toast for breakfast.

8. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No, I untie them before I take them off.

9. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
I used to think I was. That all changed 18 months ago

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food. No contest!

11. RED OR PINK?
Black!

12. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
I had a Tesco chocolate chip muffin and a mug of tea about half an hour ago. If I'd known I'd be answering this quesion, I'd have had something much more exciting.

13. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
This

14. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Any shade of purple.

15. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Chocolate, sun tan lotion, fresh cut grass and honeysuckle, but not necessarily in that order

16. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Mum. I wanted to check the name of that soap opera Dad says I'm named after.

17. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
I love my rugby; province (Ulster) first, country (Ireland) second. I'll be happy as a pig in muck when the rugby world cup starts next month.

18. HAIR COLOR?
Just how blonde depends on how long since I've had a visit to Albert. A little more silver appearing every day though.

19. EYE COLOR?
Grey

20. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No. Though I once went through a phase of wanting violet tinted contacts, just for decorative purposes.

21. FAVORITE FOOD?
It depends what's on the menu, I don't really have a favourite. It's easier for me to say that I don't like fish or seafood.

22. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
I hate scary movies, but I find happy endings a bit twee.

23. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
In the cinema it was Mr Bean’s Holiday. I guess when you don't like scary movies and you find happy endings a bit twee, that's the kind of crap that's left!

24. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer. I am an undiagnosed sufferer from SAD! (Seasonal Adjustment Disorder)

25. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Yes

26. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
BBC Sport.

27. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Coronation Street and NCIS. Was Eastenders on last night? I might have watched it. Sometimes, if I want a laugh, I watch anything on RTE.

28. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Neither

29. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
I've been to Hawaii in one direction and Lombok, Indonesia the other.

30. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
That’s a question for someone else to answer about me.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Another white knuckle ride

I am going back to the ward tomorrow where the consultant is going to reopen my wound and try and remove the stitches, all under local anaesthetic.

Sadist!

I'm not looking forward to it, in fact I'm dreading it. But hopefully, this time tomorrow the stitches will finally be out and the wound can start to heal properly ...

Monday, August 13, 2007

Back to hospital tomorrow

to find out what they're going to do about these trapped subcutaneous stitches.

In some respects this is a tricky one, as I don't really want a 'foreign body' entrapped in my body for the duration (stitches are not dissolving) as there is a risk of infection over a long period of time. On the other hand, as the stitches are subcutaneous ie under the outer skin layer and not protruding, it more than likely means further surgery to open up the wound again to get them removed (as they were originally going to do when the stitches initially snapped). That's a scary thought as I'm still anaemic and my hand is still buggered after the first lot of surgery!

I have listened to all the advice and have decided it is the lesser of two evils to have the surgery again and get them removed. We will see what the consultant has to say about it tomorrow. I'm hoping we are of like mind - I 'm not good at being forceful.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Irish Squad

Eight and a half (Tommy Bowe on stand-by for Shane Horgan) Ulstermen make the cut :-)

26days, 7 hours, 7 mins and 19 secs to go

Saturday, August 11, 2007

World Cup preparations

Happy to report to those of you who might have any doubts that the Irish team preparations are going exactly according to plan.

White knuckle ride in, guess where? Co. Fermanagh of course!

When they teach you to drive the first and most important thing they show you is how to stop the car. Then they show you how to make it go and vary the speed. All this with a fully qualified instructor by your side, usually with an extra set of pedals, just in case.

To get into a car for the first time and just start driving without knowing these basics would be completely irresponsible and extremely dangerous.

Why, therefore, when it comes to horses, are you allowed to do just that?

On our recent trip to the wetlands of Co. Fermanagh, we decided (all of us - adults too) in a moment of insanity to go pony trekking. There is the first mistake. The word 'pony' conjures up an image of a nice friendly wee tiny horse with short legs. I was given this great big brute of a thing thast required me to climb a stepladder to get on board. I had no idea how high up you were when you sat on a horse. Probably because I'd never actually sat on one before. Ever.

So I'm sitting there, on my horse, holding on with my hands, knees, thighs, ankles, toes as if my life depended on it. Tip no. 1: when going 'pony' trekking for the first time, make sure you are the last person to get on a horse and not the second, like I was. By the time the adults had all be seated, I was having serious doubts about the decision to do this, and by the time the children had been sorted, I was nothing short of pleading with the girl to let me down. And DVT was setting in.

So we're all on 'ponies' and my sister-in-law and I are nervously eyeing each other up, each trying to be brave for the other, whilst the men (seated on retired shire horses that looked like they had been doped) were pretending to be full of bravado. And suddenly my horse moves. Not far, just one or possibly two steps you understand, but enough to send me into a complete tizz.

There are two helpers there, the girl in charge and the girl with the stepladder and as there are 7 (seven) of us, I'm waiting for the other five helpers to arrive so that we all have one each before we head off on our trip. So it came as a big surprise when the girl in charge grabbed Dolly's horse by the reins and said 'Walk on'. The 'ponies' do just that, and we're off - me without anyone beside me to make sure I didn't fall off or to tell me what to do. And I suddenly realise, as we approach the main road, that I don't know how to make the thing stop.

By this stage I was holding on so tight I had cramp in my hands.

After a couple of minutes on the road, my 'pony' pulled up beside my sister-in-laws and started eating it's ear. A sign of affection I'm sure, but sister-in-law's 'pony' didn't seem to see it like that and started biting back. Unsure of what to do, and terrified to do anything in case what I did do made the thing go faster, I did what any reasonable adult would do in the situation and shouted for help. The girl in charge (who was three horses away) told me to stop my horse by pulling its reins. Slowly the realisation dawns that in order to do that, I have to leave go of the saddle, which I have been grabbing with a vice-like grip since getting on board.

So we've gone about 100 yards and I'm thinking it's time to head back. But unfortunately we have a whole loop of a lake to go yet. We settle into a steady pace, or at least the 'ponies' do and I eventually relax my toes, but not my ankles, knees, thighs and hands. Then brothers horse, which is in front of me, decides it wants a tea-break and stops to have a nibble on some grass. Does mine stop? Does it ever, and I can see the inevitable collision happening in slow motion, and sister-in-law's 'pony' with the big teeth gaining on me from behind and I'm thinking I've died and gone to hell.

Collision narrowly avoided, we continue on our not-so-merry way and I eventually find the nerve to relax my ankles, but not my knees, thighs and hands. I spent the entire rest of the journey praying that my 'pony' wouldn't get thirsty and try to take a drink from the lake, and that sister-in-law's 'pony' wouldn't get hungry (or frisky) and bite mine on the bum.

Prayers are answered and eventually, after what seems like hours but was actually about 30 minutes, we arrive back at the stables. You might think I experienced an overwhelming feeling of relief as we neared the stables, but no. I had a sudden mental image of my 'pony' spying it's home and heading off at a great rate of knots towards it's dinner, so the closer we got, the more agitated I became.

'Did you enjoy that?' asked the girl with the stepladder as she prised my fingers off the saddle and levered me off the 'pony'. The only answer racing through my head was 'having a hysterectomy's going to be a doddle after that!'

Guess what arrived this morning

Friday, August 10, 2007

Diversion therapies

I have just completed this 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle
(appropriate picture don't you think):
I haven't done a jigsaw puzzle in years and years ... and years! This one was bought to keep me occupied and my mind off all the things in the house I can see that need done but am not allowed to do (basically everything!).

It provided about a week's worth of distraction, unlike the complete series one box set of 'Desperate Housewives' (kindly lent to me by my sister-in-law) which I became slightly hooked on and watched in 48 hours!

And yes, I have to admit, I'm a complete saddo ... I am impatiently awaiting the delivery of the series two box set which was ordered last week.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Derry Airport in trouble ... again!

Seems I was wrong about the gypsies. Yesterday a plane arriving at Derry from Spain sunk into the tarmac on landing. Apparently the pilot had to ask the passangers to evacuate the flight so that they could get the plane moved.

Only in Ireland, eh??! Read more here.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

The Best Boy

I went with mum this afternoon to collect my big son from a summer scheme he has been attending all week. There is a newsagents beside the venue, and when we collected him today, mum gave him 50p to go to the shop and get himself some sweets.

So off he tottled, only to reappear a couple of minutes later with three fudge fingers, one for him, one for me and one for mum.

Thoughful and generous, I'm proud of my boy

Vroom vroom!

I had to go to the local shopping centre today to get a present for a birthday party. It was suggested to me that when I was there I should get one of the shopmobility scooters to go about on (tongue wasn't in cheek either).

It reminded me of a very good friend of mine (who sadly died of cancer several years ago) who had a disability and owned her very own scooter. We used to see her zipping round town all the time; I remember meeting her on the top floor of Debenhams during the sales, causing havoc as she raced for the bargains scattering shoppers left and right in her wake! Occasionally she would let us do time trials on it, or use it to go on the pull.

The was one famous scooter moment caught on video which still makes me laugh. We had both been leaders at a big International youth camp based in Northern Ireland. On the last day, we were packing the 600+ kids that had attended off on coaches home. All the leaders stood to watch the kids leave and as we waved off each bus in the long, long line of buses, we suddenly noticed my friend on her scooter, sandwiched between two coaches, heading up the main road from Armagh to Belfast waving back.

What else would you expect from a woman who's first response, on arriving at her touring caravan which her husband had filled with lit candles as a romantic gesture, was 'has the electric gone off again?' Or who, when attending a self-defence class and was asked to do some karate type movements, promptly started singing her favoured karaoke piece 'Give me the Moonlight' and dancing.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Much more importantly

30 days, 21 hours, 52mins and 15 secs until the Rugby World Cup

4 months, 2 weeks & 4 days until Christmas

but Santa arrives in Harrods today.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Pyjama Mama

The Pyjama Mama might just be a Belfast concept. At certain times in the morning, in certain areas of the city, Pyjama Mamas can be seen congregating at school gates, usually on main arterial routes into the city. They get their name from the fact that they congregate wearing pyjamas (usually silky), slippers (usually fluffy) and, on occasion, dressing gowns (tho usually not).

In the past, I had concerns about becoming a Yummy Mummy. Today, I fear I put a fluffy foot on the slippery slope that leads to Pyjama Mama.

My children take my recovery very seriously, and once a day Dolly arrives and announces that it's time for her to accompany me on my constitutional walk round the block. Being tired and on automatic pilot, today I just got up and started walking. It wasn't until we had made it half-way round the block and I was passing the time of day with a neighbour that she suddenly exclaimed 'Mummy, you're wearing your slippers!'

I tried to take the slippers off and give then to her to carry, but I couldn't bend to get them off and anyway she refused point blank to carry them. In fact, she refused point blank to walk the rest of the way with me, and ran on home leaving me shuffling round past the remainder of the neighbours like a Chelsea pensioner on speed.

As I neared home, hubby drives round the corner, sees me ambling unattended, slows to offer me a lift but takes one look at my slippered feet and accelerates away in a cloud of CO emissions.

It strikes me Cinderella never had this trouble when she went out in her slippers.