Yummy Mummies

Rugby camp this week; there I was, dropping mimi-me off, and I couldn't help but notice a few differences between me and some of the other mums.

Whereas I arrived with (most of!) my hair hastily pinned up in a clip, the yummy mums all had beautiful 'set' hairsyles in the very latest styles (not a root in sight I hasten to add) which would have taken me an hour on the straighteners and at least one tin of hairspray to achieve before I had left for camp.

Whereas I was wearing no make-up, the yummy mums had the glow of a recent facial about them, and perfectly made up faces, right down to thick layers of lip gloss that meant as they greeted one other they had to use the traditional 'air kiss' as any contact would have ensured they slid off the other persons face.

And as I squint in the sun, the yummy mums all have the latest designer sunglasses to prevent them from having a furrow on their brow that looks like its been ploughed in, like mine.

Whereas I arrived in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt which I had thrown on me, the yummy mums had all been down to Eden Park (expensive French rugby themed clothing) the previous week to purchase suitable 'going-to-drop-wee-Johnny-off-at-rugby' outfits. Of course it's more than just the rugby theme, there's the added bonus that the shop is part owned by a certain Dr David Humphreys OBE ...

Whereas I arrive in a pair of flip flops (albeit accessorize's best!), the yummy mums are wobbling across the practice pitch in high heeled stilleto mules, with real diamante bits. I'd have broken my leg before I'd even got near the pitch, never mind on it!

And speaking of feet ... whereas my toenails are covered in three week old, chipped nail polish, the yummy mums have all had matching french manicures and pedicures. My fingernails are so bad, I realise the only person I'd be fooling by covering them in nail polish is myself.

Oh, and I need to shave my legs and get my eyebrows waxed ...

Ah, the Yummy Mummy! Not a concept I aspire to; a club I will never be eligible to join!!

(By the way, there's a National Yummy Mummy Week, which takes places from 16-25 September in aid of children's cancer charity CLIC Sargent. It's for such a good cause, even I might try to be a yummy mum .. for part of the week anyway!)