As seen by son

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Movie House cinemas have made an offer were Ulster Rugby Supporters will receive a free 46oz bucket of popcorn when they book tickets to see Invictus at the Moviehouse Dublin Road, Yorkgate/Cityside and Jet Centre. All you have to do is print off the Movie House voucher on the Ulster rugby website.

46oz of popcorn!! Like what, they just give you the whole popcorn machine to take in with you? That's enough to keep a family of four well fed for a week! You'd need to buy a seat beside you just to put your popcorn bucket in. Question is, will your view of the movie be obstructed by the person in fronts popcorn mountain?

For the purposes of research, I think I'm going to have to try this!

Blogger is not working, naughty blogger

I cannot post to my blogs by email from my phone. I have not been able to do it for five whole days now. I feel like my right arm has been cut off.

This is seriously effecting my efficiency in the 365 project, as I also do not know how to download photos off my iPhone. And, outlook rolled over and died on my desktop the day the technical one went to the USA, so even if I mail them to myself i can't retrieve them on the desktop.

If it continues, I may need counselling. How much Steve?

Birmingham

In light of the fact that I'm off to Birmingham at the end of the month and they've just got those new 'naked' scanners in the airport, does anyone have a number for Gok Wan?

The continuing saga of the pyjama mama

A Tesco in Cardiff has seen fit to ban shoppers who arrive wearing PJs. More power to Tesco. Even better, it doesn't say anything about receiving your Tesco delivery wearing your PJs so I'm quids in ;-)

The issue was discussed by politicians locally (because there is nothing much else going on politically here at the minute) and Sinn Fein councillor Fra McCann said people have a right to wear whatever they want when they go to Tesco.

I'll be in Tesco Falls Road tomorrow wearing my bowler hat and orange sash then.

Earthquake strikes Donegal

It has been confirmed that there have been two minor earthquakes in north County Donegal in 24 hours. The School of Cosmic Physics in Dublin said one on Tuesday night measured 1.5 on the Richter scale while another on Wednesday morning measured 1.7

The school's Thomas Blake said the tremors were "nature's way of releasing the stresses and strains built up over time in very deep faults".

Not true. It was the tremors resulting from the other half's snoring reverberating through the nine counties that did it. He has gone to Colorado. Expect avalanches.

Late thoughts

Did you know, that if a Ryanair planes crashes and you have to evacuate via the big yellow slides, you have to leave your false teeth behind? It's true.

Some women shouldn't be allowed to go to rugby matches. Specifically the ones who are only there because they have been taken on the promise of shopping and sight-seeing round the fixture. They generally turn up in faux fur coats. And sit in front of you waving flags some idiot has given them unwittingly.

Also, if you have to evacuate a Ryanair plane via the big yellow shoots, you must cut off your ears first. Actually, thats not true. It just looks like that on the safety card. Apparently, you just have to remove your earrings.

Ryanair

I love the way Ryanair make you queue at the gate the minute they hear that the plane you are expecting to board has left the airport it is coming from. That's by the by.

Our outbound Ryanair flight to Bristol this weekend was crewed by Herr Flick of the Gestapo. As we boarded we were told to 'get out of ze aisles, let others past!' As we readied for take-off we were told 'no phones allowed, not even on ze plane mode!'

But the best was during the safety demonstration when he marched down from the front of the plane to tell the people behind me, who had been talking quietly, to 'be quiet! This is for ze safety!!'

Well, after that intervention, apart from lots and lots of stifled giggles, you could have heard a pin drop! Poor Eva, the stewardess from Bratislava who was doing the demo beside me, got so fussed by him she tied herself up in knots in her emergency life jacket and had to be rescued by a passing sailor.

Another tour, another trauma

Yes, here I am in Bath. What could possibly happen? I hear you ask.
Well, it wasn't travel arrangements or weather this time.

Arrived in lovely Bath, parked up and headed downtown for some food.
Had just settled in the Cornish Pastie Co for a wee bite, and had
literally taken a wee bite when...

Me: is there something stuck in my tooth?

Dolly: screams

Turns out a good quarter of my front tooth was stuck in something, and
it wasn't my gum!

And so began the frantic phonecalls to hospitals, dentists and
emergency helplines until I eventually secured a dental appointment
with a dentist, in Bristol.

Two and a half hours and a mighty dose of anaesthetic later, I no
longer whistled my speech or looked like an extra for a hobo movie.
But I am on a strict diet of liquids only until tomorrow morning. By
which time I'm hoping my still-now-four-and-a-half-hours-later frozen
mouth will have defrosted.

And so there was a certain amount if déjà vu with all todays yo-yoing
backwards and forwards between Bristol and Bath.

If I ever suggest you join me on a rugby tour........

Sent from my iPhone

Take-over bid

The Irish are about to make a hostile bid on the West Country. 700 travelling and 300 ex-pat Ulstermen will descend on the historic city of Bath this weekend with only one thing on their minds - standing up.

They will start spilling out of planes in Bristol from lunchtime tomorrow, and start spilling into hostelries soon after! Music has been arranged and song sheets provided, and if we can't beat the locals on the pitch, we'll sure as hell out sing them!