Goodnight!

Best night of the year!

In preparation for an early night and a late morning (I can wish!) I got myself a new Val McDermid book today. I'm really enjoying reading her books, the TV series 'Blood on the Wire' starring Robson Greene is based on her novels. They're kind of psychological thriller / crime type books, very can't-put-down-ish, so, with the boys playing at a floodlight rugby tournament and an extra hour in bed, this is a very good night to start reading another one!

Magners Celtic League 4 English Premiership 0

Justin Marshall, scrum-half for the Ospreys cast doubt on English manhood when he made his statement that rugby in the Guinness Premiership is of a lesser standard than that in the Magners Celtic League.

Then Munster fly-half Ronan O’Gara further stirred the pot when he claimed that English rugby is overhyped, some of its players over-rated and that the English in general believe it is their divine right to win.

To be fair to the two individuals, they're probably just verbalising what most of the Celtic supporters already believe.

Needless to say, Tigers and Sharks camps were a tad annoyed and suggested that the pair might rue making such bold statements, stressing that the place to be judged is on the pitch.

So .... thats exactly what they did! Leicester Tigers 19-21 Munster and Ospreys 17-16 Sale Sharks. And the only other two English Premiership teams to meet Celtic League teams in the Heineken cup ties this weekend suffered similar fates: London Irish25-32 Llanelli Scarlets and Leinster 37-20 Gloucester.

It might not be scientific, but its fecking marvellous :-)

Bring on an all British/Irish league

Dear Mrs Chemical

On behalf of the Board of Governors I would like to take the opportunity to thank you for acting as a substitute teacher in ***** *****. We appreciate your commitment and the way in which you have coped with some of the more difficult pupils.

We did, however, have a complaint about your professionalism by one of the teachers. Mr un-named ex-colleague was annoyed at the manner in which you questioned the work he left you for his Year 11 class, especially in relation to the composition of the Solar System. The governors would like you to apologise to Mr un-named ex-colleague who is (and this is the funny bit) a highly experienced and much-valued member of staff.

We wish you well in your next teaching appointment

Yours

Chairperson blah-dy blah

Happy IVGLDSW Day

Today is

International Very Good Looking, Damn Smart Woman's Day

Apologies to those of you who had to find out the hard way ;-)

Reasons to Love Autumn

1. Colours
2. Misty Mornings
3. Foggy Evenings
4. Pumpkins
5. Woodsmoke
6. Fireworks (legal ones!)
7. Blackberries
8. Staying In
9. Kicking Leaves
10. Extra Hour (in bed!)
11. Apple Pie
12. Wooly Socks

Oh, and Winter ... Autumn is not winter. That’s a pretty good reason to love it.

Labradorite

My colleagues took me out for a meal last week and presented me with the most amazing gift. Some labradorite jewellery. I have to say, and I'm not just saying it for effect, Labradorite is one of the most exquisite gems I have ever seen.

When light strikes Labradorite from a particular direction, it displays striking rainbow-coloured reflections (violet, blue, green, yellow, orange, red) known as "Labradorescence" or "Schiller." It has been described as looking like oil laying on water or the delicate wings of a tropical butterfly.

I wonder if my colleagues knew this when they chose it: Labradorite is said to energize the body and enhance productivity. It can help us to work productively for long periods without tiring. It stimulates us to exercise and to dance (!!). Labradorite balances and reenergizes those that have been overworking.

How all round appropriate a gift is that for me :-)

Veggietales

I had taken the veggietales video 'Dave and the Giant Pickle' into school today to show the Year 9 class who are making an animated film of David and Goliath as part of a project in RE (with the un-named ex-colleague; watch that blog for more details and eventual publication)

My Year 11 class had worked really hard and were quite tired so I offered them the chance to watch it at the end of their cookery lesson for a bit of relaxation. They watched it, in fact they enjoyed it, but towards the end one of them pipes up 'why are we watching this?' to which another one replies 'to remind us why we should eat five portions of fruit and vegetables a day - to rid the world of dancing vegetables'.

Couldn't have put it better myself :-)

I Love Jesus Better Than Icecream ...

Today was Tharp Day. The Tharps are an American family who tour in a big bus and take school assemblies singing dittys such as I love Jesus better than icecream, and dancing in front of the kids. Nice!

When Mini-Me was in P1 the Tharps took assembly. I knew they had been because he adopted a particularly strong interest in their most famous song and in breakdancing (his version of it, which involved lying on his back with his feet kicking in the air rather like a wasp hit with Haze) after their visit.

I also knew they had been because a couple of weeks later I was informed by his teacher at the parent-teacher interview that he had had to be sent to the Head of KS1 because of his behaviour in assembly. Quite shocked, I asked what on earth he had been doing. Well, he'd been lying on his back with his feet kicking in the air rather like a wasp hit with Haze.

I'm quite sure the teacher was amazed when I literally burst out laughing on the spot. That wouldn't have been the day the Tharps were in assembly I asked. Well, yes ... but ...

She wasn't seeing the funny side.

Which is why, had I known in advance today was Tharp day, I'd have kept them both at home! Roll on the parent-teacher interviews ...

Lentil & Carrot Soup for the Soul ...

Year 12 made carrot and lentil soup today. Everything was going fine; eight lots of soup had been made and four of the eight lots had been liquidised.

I'm standing by the liquidiser with the fifth lot of boiling-hot-just-off-the-stove-soup ready to whizz; lid on, held firmly in place with my right hand, left hand on the ON button ready to go, just as I've already done four times that lesson.

I push the button and disaster strikes. Somehow, and from somewhere, the soup leaps out of the liquidiser and covers me from the chest down.

Soup and half mushed vegetables everywhere, but mostly down my front.

'Feck Miss' (polite version) cries the boy standing behind me. I'm waiting for him to say 'are you alright??' But instead:

'That was brilliant, can you do it again??'

(Please note: No children were harmed in the making of this soup)

Dirty Laundry

As already documented, after much deliberation (over which teddy to take with him) Mini-me decided to go away for the weekend last weekend.

I like to be organised, and as this was a momentous occasion, I decided to leave nothing to chance. I organised his clothes into sets, a complete new set for each day (Saturday and Sunday) plus a complete spare set, right down to pants and socks. Then I put each complete set of clothes into individual plastic bags and explained to him that each day all he had to do was to to put on all the clothes in the one plastic bag.

Easy; well, not exactly rocket science! (though, as an aside, I have to say that rocket science has gone way down in my estimations: for details see un-named ex-colleagues blog)

In the absence of a 'male' looking washbag, I went to the local supermarket and bought him a small washbag and a new toothbrush, toothpaste, small liquid soap and rugby facecloth.

So off he set, and the rest is as documented on this blog.

When we picked him up on his return on Sunday, I was a little dismayed (to say the least!) that he climbed off the bus wearing the exact same clothes he had worn two days previously when he had climbed onto it. Never worry, I thought, it was a very wet weekend and he must have gone through all the clothes in each of the plastic bags and back to his first set of clothes. We said our goodbyes and our thankyous and headed home, amongst other things, to do the washing.

I opened his case with a feeling of some anticipation, to discover all his clothes neatly folded and packed into ... individual plastic bags. Either the leaders had very kindly done the laundry, or ...

I didn't really want to do it, but on opening his washbag, I confirmed that everything was just as I'd left it - dry as a bone and obviously unused.

I did have a faint flicker of hope when I found some loose clothing in the bottom of the case, but it quickly dispelled when I discovered that, in his generosity, he had brought home somebody elses dirty laundry.

PS - Camp Update; the Final Episode

Just in case anonymous in Canada is reading this:

all children safely returned home, showing positive signs of sleep deprivation and grumpy as a bag of weasels!

Fast Food

Last night I decided I'd quite like some noodles, so of we headed to the nearest noodle bar, the aptly named Thai Tanic, for a takeaway. We listened to the Munster v Ulster match on the radio on the way down and arrived at the restaurant at half time. Ulster winning 12-13 :-)

Fast food it was not.

By the time we were served, our meal was ready and we got back to the car, the match was over i.e. completely finished; all 40 minutes plus extra time of the second half completed, and the match analysis was being wound up! The food was delicious, but crumbs, the ruddy titanic went down faster than those noodles were made up. Next time I think we'll try Foo Kin Noodles (if you want to live dangerously, say it fast!) in Shaftesbury Square.

TANOREXIC

Official definition: Someone obsessed with tanning machines.