I forgot the worst 'p' of all ...

... but was reminded in glorious technicolour just before breaktime - puke.

Yes, I had a puker. But by the time it happened I was already so far gone I was able to cope admirably.

To put the days events in context, I should explain that for the last number of years of my teaching career, I headed up courses training young people over 16 to become nursery assistants and classroom assistants to the 7 and unders. Read the books?? I'd flippin' lectured on them! And I'd seen Kindergarten Kop and Daddy DayCare too many time to mention - I was so qualified for this job!

Yeah, right.

School started at 9am, and believe it or not, it took me until breaktime to mark the register. In fact, it took me to breaktime to work out exactly how many there were in the class, such was their speed.

Hokey toot, what next but someone snuck £2 dinner money onto the teachers desk during the course of the morning. 'Who put the dinner money on the teacher's desk?' Blank looks. 'If you put the dinner money on the teacher's desk, could you put your hand up?' Immediately 12 hands shot up, and then 2 seconds later the remaining four went up when they realised the rest of the class had their hands up.

I never did work out whose dinner money that was. Eventually, I cut my loses and took the money to the school office, apologising for not knowing who had paid it. 'Ah' said the very patient lady in the office ' did no-one own up to owning it?' 'That's just it' I replied 'they ALL owned up to owning it!'. The good news is, everyone got fed anyway.

Having spent the morning marking the register and sorting out dinner money, hooray! - it was nearly breaktime. All I had to do to get the class ready for break was to feed, water, toilet and dress them for outdoor play. So I started a good half hour in advance of the break bell, and I managed to pull up the last coat zipper just as the bell rang for the end of break.

We got into routine after that and when it came time for dinner, my class were still last to get there, but they were only just last! With the added bonus of only and hour to go after lunch!!

Until the P4 teacher arrived down to tell me that when my class went home at 2pm, I was to take her class for PE... For and hour... Outside.

Money well earned today people!