'Hello, NI Water, water bout ye?'
In light of the current water crisis, some people are calling for the renaming of our failing NI Water service to NE Water or even NO Water. Some wonder if we call it Ní Water can we blame the South?
So far there's been no statement from the Chief of NI Water, feeling is he's bottled it.
One of our local MPs cleaned his teeth in Harp last night and this morning melted the remains of his snowman to get water for a shave. He also tweeted to remind us that other liquids such as beer, cider, wine, vodka and petrol may contain water.
People have been phoning local radio stations and requesting anything by Wet Wet Wet, and checking WikiLeaks for information.
We'll be OK though. It'll be sorted by New Year's Eve because a number of our MLA's apparently can't drink their whiskey without water. In the meantime hope of an efficient water system is but a pipe dream!