it stays right there.
That's because today I tried to do the decent thing and retrieve a football that had become well and truly lodged in a cherry tree in the front garden. Lodged so well I was using a hockey stick to whack (technically term) it out.
However, as it was too high in the tree for just a plain old whack, I used the old jump and whack technique.
Next moment I was lying on the ground, with a sharp pain in my right (good) (as in currently non-arthritic) ankle. And a moment after that, I also realised that the undignified noise that sounded like a pig squealing somewhere down the street was actually coming from me.
Simultaneously I'm hoping the neighbours don't all arrive home at that particular moment to see me writhing and squealing on the front lawn lest I be put back on the medication.
This all takes milliseconds - I know this because as I continue to writhe and squeal, the hockey stick loosens itself from the branches where it had become momentarily lodged and hits the ground with a thump not three inches from my head. Thank the Lord.
And so, this evening I found myself in casualty explaining to the nice doctor that I hurt my ankle retrieving a football from a tree and feeling utterly ashamed that I hadn't insisted that someone shaved my right leg and painted my toenails before it was touched, twisted, prodded and x-rayed.
PS the verdict came back 'not broken'. With one week of work to go and a trip to Houston in the offing, thank the Lord for that too!