Monday, February 16, 2009

The next time a football gets stuck in the bloody tree

it stays right there.

That's because today I tried to do the decent thing and retrieve a football that had become well and truly lodged in a cherry tree in the front garden. Lodged so well I was using a hockey stick to whack (technically term) it out.

However, as it was too high in the tree for just a plain old whack, I used the old jump and whack technique.

Next moment I was lying on the ground, with a sharp pain in my right (good) (as in currently non-arthritic) ankle. And a moment after that, I also realised that the undignified noise that sounded like a pig squealing somewhere down the street was actually coming from me.

Simultaneously I'm hoping the neighbours don't all arrive home at that particular moment to see me writhing and squealing on the front lawn lest I be put back on the medication.

This all takes milliseconds - I know this because as I continue to writhe and squeal, the hockey stick loosens itself from the branches where it had become momentarily lodged and hits the ground with a thump not three inches from my head. Thank the Lord.

And so, this evening I found myself in casualty explaining to the nice doctor that I hurt my ankle retrieving a football from a tree and feeling utterly ashamed that I hadn't insisted that someone shaved my right leg and painted my toenails before it was touched, twisted, prodded and x-rayed.

PS the verdict came back 'not broken'. With one week of work to go and a trip to Houston in the offing, thank the Lord for that too!

12 comments:

Judith said...

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha

I thought the same thing when I went to A & E with my ankle 'Why didn't I shave my leg first?' I had it thoroughly prepared for the following weeks examination and also covered in mango body cream :)

ps: so where's the video of that then?

Cosmo said...

Yeah, you can complain about too much CCTV around, but if it caught acts such as this on camera it would be worth it, right?

Dublin Mom said...

Oh sorry to hear it! Hope you feel better soon, and in the meantime, get the rest of the family to wait on you hand and (sore, unshaven, unpainted) foot. Particularly the one who put the football in the tree in the first place!

Nancy Mon said...

I am so glad that nothing was broken, well except maybe some pride...ha ha ha... You wouldn't have to worry about Houston...we drive everywhere.

Ali said...

Well, it's good to know I had so many of you giggling at my expense as I hobbled round on my poor, damaged ankle today :-)

It all helps to keep me humble and dare I say it, my feet on the ground!!

Videos and CCTV indeed ....

Wils said...

Ha - the Lord works in mysterious ways! You were meant to be there girl - I'm just so sorry it hurt! Can't tell you how glad I was to see you guys walk into A&E! (sorry for being so selfish!!!!!!)

Ali said...

This is true Wils (Wils was in casualty with an elderly friend who had broken her wrist and the long and short of it is we were able to sit with her friend while she walked the miles you have to walk up hill and over dale to get her car to take her home again)

Pluto said...

Now that brightened my day! It reminded me of my friend who was coming down the stairs and, seeing her husband at the bottom, shouted “Catch me!” My friend is a mature lady who doesn’t normally do these things. Her husband was caught unawares and my friend was not caught at all. The result was a visit to the hospital casualty department with a broken collar bone. The embarrassing thing was the number of people who came into the cubicle and asked how she broke her bone. She was not convinced they were all medical staff!

Anonymous said...

Dear Ali, sorry to hear you hurt your ankle. I hope it will be better soon. Do you have to go to school?
Brigitte

Ali said...

Indeed Pluto, I know the feeling as I everytime I explained I'd been trying to get a football out of a tree the immediate response was 'you didn't climb the tree did you?!!'

I mean, do I LOOK like an eejit??

(Keep your big gob shut!!!)

Brigitte, my current contract finishes this Friday anyway, so I'm sticking it out. I don't have to walk around too much at work and I have a groovy pair of sparkly slippers I can wear: http://chemicalsblog.blogspot.com/2006/09/lying-under-neighbours-car-in-pair-of.html

(Shut up Pluto!!!)

St said...

Ankles are a design fault.

Dana said...

I see you are about as graceful as I am. Geesh, I hope you are all healed up before your trip here! But like Nancy said, we don't walk around much. Except at the malls.


Pluto takes every chance doesn't he? :)