I've just caught a snippet of one of those 'Police Camera Action' type programmes. The little bit I saw featured a RTA where a car had hit a man on a motorbike. The man, we were told by the serious sounding narrator, was in a critical condition.
Indeed, he is lying on the pavement as paramedics work with him; he is screaming in agony. There is blood flowing down into the gutter. A conversation is going on, instigated by a cyclist who was first to arrive at the scene. It has been subtitled for the benefit of those of us who can't quite hear over the screaming. It goes something like this:
'Your alright mate, you're not dead.'
'Well, your left leg's OK anyway'
'But your bikes buggered.'
'But it looks like it was a cheap one'
Between fits of the giggles (I don't know whether to be shocked or disbelieving) I manage to make out that the accident took place outside the local hospital, and as well as the two paramedics, the man is being treated by a doctor who had just left work. On his bicycle.
Where in the name of all things holy did he learn his bedside manner??
(the answer is Sheffield. Don't EVER have an accident in Sheffield)