Read 'em and weep:

Quizmaster: In traffic, what 'J' is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway?

Quizmaster: How many Olympic Games have been held?
Contestant: Six.
quizmaster: Higher!
Contestant: Five.

Quizmaster: Which French Mediterranean town hosts a famous film festival every year?
Contestant: I don't know, I need a clue.
Quizmaster: OK. What do beans come in?
Contestant: Cartons?

Quizmaster: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Quizmaster: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester.

Quizmaster: For £10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Contestant: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?

Quizmaster: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant:The Conservative Party.

Quizmaster: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant: Er . . .
Quizmaster: He makes bread .. .
Contestant: Er . . .
Quizmaster: He makes cakes .. .
Contestant: Kipling Street?

Quizmaster: In what year was President Kennedy assassinated?
Contestant: Erm .. .
Quizmaster: Well, let's put it this way - he didn't see 1964.
Contestant: 1965?

Quizmaster: In which European country are there people called Walloons?
Contestant: Wales.