Blogging Milestone

I have just noticed I am less than 100 visitors away from my 20,000th hit. Wow!

An arse the size of a small country

I have been in Portrush. Nice place, terrible shops.

I arrived two days ago and as usual when I got here I discovered I had
arrived without some essentials. On this occasion it was mascara,
socks and knickers. First things on Sunday morning I had to trawl the
town looking for these items. The socks I got in the third petrol
station I visited. And that was the total extent of my success.

In an attempt to acquire knickers I was sent (by my mother, I should
have known better!) to the White House. Locals will understand; if you
are American, this is NOTHING like what you are imagining.

The first pair were what can only be described as bloomers. Dolly took
one look and with eyes wide asked 'mummy, what ARE those??'

It was even funnier when she held them against herself and they came
below her knees. The second pair were nothing short of steel
reinforced. When I was very young I remember ads on the TV for 18 hour
girdles. I think these might have been an original from that era.

The best pair, well they looked like they'd been made from a
dishcloth, or four! Pictorial evidence on the 365 photoblog. Faced
with the prospect of wearing those I felt it would be more appropriate
and a lot more comfortable to go commando.

Did I mention the smallest size in stock of any knickers was a medium
(36")?

Then dolly found the pair I eventually bought. Made by Sloggi, called
shorts, with scalloped edges and a big lily on the right cheek. At £7
a pair they're obviously what passes for sexy lingerie in this part of
the country.

Close your eyes and imagine the sight. I defy you to laugh.

Sent from my iPhone

What would you do with a satsuma?

I have just returned home from the annual BB display. 3 hours ten minutes of top drawer entertainment, with many many highlights, of which I will mention only two.

(1) When the boy who won the scripture cup was announced, his mum, who was sitting beside us shouted out 'Oh my God!'

(2) The answer to the above quiz question, which of course is eat it. The further explanation being that a satsuma of course is a type of plum and a variety of snail.

Top drawer.