Let's look at the evidence, Madam ...

I am sure those of you who live in the UK are familiar with the Marks & Spencer meal deal, were you get a main course, a side dish, a dessert for two and a bottle of wine for £10. Fantastic value and not bad food either!

What you may not know, (I have insider knowledge), is that if you go to a Simply Food M&S where they do not sell alcohol, you get a box of chocolates with your meal instead of a bottle of wine. In fact, because of this, if you feel so inclined, you can actually ask at any M&S store to have the chocolates instead of the wine.

On Thursday this week M&S gave 20% off everything. Absolutely everything. Also, if you bought 12 bottles of wine you got an extra 10% off the wine, and you could also use a coupon in their free wine brochure to get another £5 off your wine bill.

On Saturday this week, staff members got these deals, plus their staff 20% off too. I have a relative who is a staff member at M&S. She is also a Methodist lay-preacher; the significance of that will become clear later. She spends Christmas with us every year and said she would, using all the generous M&S discounts, procure the wine for this years festivities.

She then went on to say she was going to stock up on meal deals while she got her extra discount, but indeed she would ask for the chocolates instead of the wine as she doesn't drink.

Here I stand at the checkout with my 12 heavily discounted bottles of red and white wine in my trolley, but could I please have the chocolates with the meal deal, as I don't drink. Uh-huh ;-)