Shhhh

Don't tell the children!

We have booked a sneaky wee adults only trip away just before Christmas to see the 'Bounty Sisters' (above) (think kitchenroll advertisement!) appear in pantomime in Swansea.

In other words, to see Ulster play the Ospreys in the third round of the Heineken Cup.

Great bargain on the flight to Cardiff. It only cost us £3.03 return. Pity about the £35 taxes.

This is why I only ever wax my eyebrows

In an attempt to keep it infection-free, I have just had a wacking great big sticky plaster stuck across my wound (area) containing unremoved stitches.

Piddle, Poo & Spit: one woman's experiences of hospital in three words

OK, so there's a bit more to it than that.

Home from hospital at last! Two days later than initially intended due to unforeseen difficulties associated with the removal of my stitches. More later.

I am sporting the most amazing bruise I have ever seen, or in fact many on the ward had ever seen either. It is the size and shape of a pair of Bridget Jones knickers. Bridget Jones big knickers at that. Purple, black, blue, green and yellow knickers. It goes round behind my hipbones and nearly up to my navel. People were staring yesterday as I left the hospital in a pair of khaki hipster trousers. You could tell they didn't know where the trousers stopped and the skin began.

The story of the stitches would be funny if it wasn't so painful. Basically the stitches refused to come out, and at one stage there were two nurses and a doctor pulling at the 'thread', a bit like a scene from 'The Enormous Turnip', when eventually it just snapped. They immediately started to prep me for further surgery to go in, locate the stitch (and whatever was blocking it's removal) remove them and sew me up again in a more traditional manner. Luckily, I had a last minute reprieve from 2am surgery, but have to go back to hospital in a fortnight for further 'contemplation'.

Discharge from hospital is a serious issue. They fill in copious forms and ask millions of questions, all thanks to litigation. During this process thay asked me twice did I have any needles in me. On the second occasion I couldn't resist and replied 'no, just the thread.'

Break in transmission

Into hospital tomorrow for a week's 'all-inclusive' stay (hysterectomy on Monday), so it'll be a bit quieter than normal round this blog for a while!

Keep blogging :-)

I wonder

Whitehall sources told the BBC that idea of using a super-casino to regenerate run-down areas was "dead in the water". Could we get Gordon Brown to make the same decision about putting a stadium at the Maze?

11th July Bonfires

Hundreds of bonfires will be lit across Northern Ireland tonight. The annual 11th July bonfires are lit in all the 'loyalist' areas of Northern Ireland as a celebration of the victory of the Protestant King William of Orange over the Catholic James in 1690.

In Belfast it’s often used as an excuse by the yob element for a booze-up and quickly becomes a denigration of the other side’s culture rather than a celebration of their own, with the symbolic burning of Tricolours (the flag of the republic of Ireland) evident on many fires.

Apart from all of that, bonfires are an eyesore, a health hazard and an environmental nightmare. Belfast City Council are throwing thousands of pounds (£50k) at this problem in an attempt to make them safer, more 'environmentally friendly' and to turn the whole event into a 'family night out'.

Has it been a wise investment of taxpayers money? Is the intiative working? Judge for yourself:

Pass the parcel

Thanks to Steve and his Mustard Seed Shavings, I have been driving my family mad by singing this little ditty ever since reading a post on his blog last Tuesday.

That's a whole week of madness! Time to pass the madness on: all together now ...

Ding a dong every hour

When you pick a flower

Even when your lover is gone gone gone

Ding a dong listen to it

Maybe it's a big hit

Even when your lover is gone gone gone

Sing ding dang dong

Soaked through to the knickers in Co. Fermanagh, again

More later

And now we're off on our holidays

Castle Archdale (yes, in the tent!) here we come!

Get me the number for Endemol

I have come to the conclusion that in many respects, a hospital stay is a bit like taking part in Big Brother.

You get 18 - 20 total strangers and put them together in a hospital ward. They fight to see who gets the relative privacy of an amenity bed. They sit around and do nothing all day whilst their every function is recorded by nurses and doctors. People shower and even go to the toilet in public and intimate parts of their body are viewed, poked and proded by more complete strangers.

The only slight difference is that the object of my game is to see who can get out first, and obviously without contracting any communicable diseases, like MRSA.

What a fantastic idea for a new TV show

Creative Writing

It appears that Dolly has a writing style not unlike that of the people who script the Terry Wogan 'Janet & John' stories.

Wonder is she moonlighting!

Can you believe it

I'm never sick. But ...

I've been in bed for two days sleeping off a heavy dose of antibiotic and a very bad throat and ear infection. Not exactly what the doctor ordered in the week I am to attend hospital for my pre-op examination, tests and scans :-(

I have three days to fight off the infection and pass as fit for surgery. Let battle begin!