"Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"
"To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
“In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite."
"Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive.
"Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Belfast International. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
1 comment:
The spirit of Bob Newhart is upon you. 'This is the captain speaking, has anyone here flown to Hawaii before? It's kinda liver-shaped isn't it?'
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