Are Youse Gettin?

Went out for coffee last week whilst shopping. To be fair, there wasn't much to choose from by way of eats at the place, but I ordered a tea and a coffee and eyed up a cake on a stand at the till.

'Is that carrot cake?' I asked

Pause ...

'Um, yes' replies girl No.1

I'm not convinced, so as girl No.2 appears from the 'kitchen' (and I use that term loosely) I say

'I was just asking if that was carrot cake?'

She looks at girl No.1 and says

'Yeah, it is ... isn't it?'

Just at this, a third (this time male) member of staff arrives at the scene. The two girls promptly turn to him and say

'Is that there carrot cake?'

His reaction, although not at all conventional, is the most persuading yet - he lifted the cling film off the cake, and sniffed it!!!

Well, I think, in for a penny ... so I also bend down to sniff the cake, now declared 'definitely carrot cake' by the male staff member, to discover it is in fact toffee cake. I don't like toffee cake, so I thanked them for their combined efforts and glanced at the fayre in the cool cabinet beside me.

And there it is, the answer to my now rumbly tummy - chocolate torte.

'Could I have two slices of chocolate torte please'

'Which one's that?'

Pause to think how best to describe the only chocolate cake in the building:

'The brown one'

(Ever wished you had just had a shortbread biscuit??)

So girl No. 1 is cutting two slices of chocolate torte and putting them on plates when

'What are you doing?' asks girl No.2 who has reappeared from the 'kitchen'. 'Cutting her that cake' replies girl No.1.

'No, you can't do that. They're not allowed it.' Then she turns to me. 'You can't have that, you have to have it with tea or coffee.'

OK. So now I'm looking for the 'Just for Laughs' camera.

'But i have a tea and a coffee right here on my tray' I say.

'Yes, but you can't have the cake. Look,' she says pointing at a picture on the counter, 'you have to have it with tea or coffee. It's a deal.'

'Yes, I see that, but ... '

It's no use. I can tell there is no way round it. I push my tray across the counter to her.

'Ok then, I'll have two of those deals instead.'

At which point she cuts two slices of cake and puts them on my tray beside my original tea and coffee.

'Is it OK with these drinks?' she asks.

Dare I say anything but yes, even for a laugh. And there was no chance me asking where they kept the sugar.