Christmas Preparations

It's been very quite in Chemical Land recently, at least the online version. Real life has been a little more hectic with birthday parties, Christmas preparations, important rugby matches and such like all happening at once!

I went to M&S today to buy some 'Christmas Provisions', after all this time next week we'll be in the thick of it. I know, I know - I shouldn't have sinned my soul to buy groceries on a Sunday, and yes, we deserve to choke on them. Now that we've cleared that up ... on with the story.

I got the turkey today. We always get a turkey crown - thats a turkey without legs. I'm not too sure if it's born that way or the legs are removed after its slaughtered, but that's a whole new blog! Anyway, there are so many of us for Christmas dinner (13), we need a really big turkey, so when I see a monster bird in the shop, I buy it and if necessary stick it in the freezer. That's what has happened this year. It's what happened last year too, but hopefully thats where the similarity starts and ends.

Last year I bought 'the bird' early and stuck it in the freezer as described. I got on with the normal pre-Christmas preparations and was so well organised was able to invite my bro and sister-in-law (then to be) and niece-in-waiting round on Christmas Eve for lunch before we all headed out to see the 3D film Santa and the Snowman.

On the way home after the event we stopped off (with half of Belfast it seemed) to get the car washed. And it's as we are sitting in the queue at 4.15pm on Christmas Eve that I suddenly remember that 'the bird' was still in the freezer.

Well, there was no point rushing - an extra 5 minutes wasn't going to make a button of difference at that stage - so we sat on, got the car washed and then headed home.

Of course 'the bird' is solid as a bl%dy rock. The first defrosting technique was to wrap it in filled hot water bottles. Marginally successful, but not good enough. Then we decided to wrap it and the hot water bottles in towels, which wasn't much better so eventually we resorted to the other half sitting hugging the bird (which was still surrounded by hot water bottles and wrapped in towels) whilst watching midnight mass from Kings.

At one stage there was genuine, major concern that he might have to turn on the electric blanket and take the bird to bed with him, but thankfully for all parties concerned that was avoided.

So, today I have added a reminder to my Outlook for Saturday 23rd to 'take turkey out of freezer'. And just in case I forget to turn on the computer, I have asked mum to phone me and remind me about the turkey. And with her memory the way it is, I've also left a post-it on my desk, one on my bedside table and one in the kitchen that all say

'TURKEY (eat, not holiday)'

Failing all of that (and believe me, it could all fail!!) the kids are practicing their turkey waddles and gobbling at each other, and the other half has set a reminder on his PDA, mobile phone and even on NTL.

There's times when I think being vegetarian would be a good thing :-)